in media res

Caught up in Bourdieu’s fields by meandomedar
January 24, 2008, 11:10 pm
Filed under: my favourite structuralists

I am different. I am an individual. I am not normal. I live outside society’s conventions. I am creative, funky, a trendsetter. I wish I were.

I am a product of this world, a product of Western civilisation, a product of this country, of this language, of this university, of this peer group. There is no “me” outside and beyond this civil body, I am tied into the world of words, signs, Bourdieu’s habitus. My habitus. I cannot escape it. I cannot free myself and become something that is not right here. Whenever I look outside and inside of me, I see layers and layers of my social, cultural, emotional and whatever else background. I am not me, I am a jigsaw puzzle assembled by culture.

And know what? We’re all in this together and as much as I think I determine what I see, feel, hear I can only see, feel and hear within this system of semiotics, culture, this society. In fact it is not me expressing myself, it is everything that has been given to me ever since I was born.

I am a member. I am one of many. I am a product. Just like everyone else.